Picture this: You’re vibing at a wine bar, sipping a lovely rosé just minding your own business. Suddenly, someone sits next to you, orders a drink, and notices you’re also on the wine train. Before you know it, they’re launching into a TED Talk about tannins and terroir.
What started as an innocent convo has become your worst nightmare: You’re trapped by a wine snob. RIP to your chill evening.
But don’t freak out—we’ve got your back with some top-tier tips to dodge the snobbery and keep your wine life drama-free:
People who are constantly swirling their wine glass.
Sure, giving a glass of red wine a little twirl can look fancy, and it does help aerate the wine (aka gets more oxygen into the juice to unlock all the great flavors). But doing it non-stop every two minutes like it’s a fidget spinner? Now that’s entering Wine Snob Territory.
Someone who grills the sommelier about the wine list.
When you go to a restaurant, a good rule of thumb is to ask the sommelier for a rec. After all, they know the wine list like the back of their hand. If you want something light and fruity under $20 bucks, just ask for a suggestion or two. You don’t need to go all CSI: Wine List and interrogate them about their selection. Let them do their thing, it’s what they love!
“I only drink Champagne.”
Yes, Champagne is definitely classy. But there’s a whole world of amazing wines out there. Burgundy makes fantastic Pinot Noir, but so does Willamette Valley in Oregon and Sonoma in California. Champagne makes outstanding sparkling wines, but you can find great ones in Spain and Australia, too. If someone claims to only drink one specific type of wine, it’s a giant red flag for wine snobbery at its finest.
Casually dropping obscure tasting notes.
Ever heard someone say, “I’m getting notes of quince paste and a whisper of gooseberry”? Yeah, that’s full-on snob behavior. If you’re describing your wine by comparing it to things you’ve probably never seen before, you’re definitely trying too hard. Most of us just taste “wine,” Karen.
Waxing poetic about that one wine they had one time.
Ah yes, the classic move: name-dropping the most expensive bottle they’ve ever had, like that 2010 Petrus that “changed their life.” If you hear someone going off about their bougie wine experience, just smile, nod, and slowly back away. You’re in the snob zone now. Meanwhile, we’ll be over here sipping our $10 grocery store wine and loving every second.
Obsessing over the tannins.
One of the key components of wine is the tannins, and it’s true they affect how a wine feels in your mouth. Yeah, they’re cool. But if someone can’t stop talking about them like they’re the only thing that matters, they’re missing the big picture. There’s so much more to wine than just its tannins—like, idk, how it tastes?
Calling bottles “vintages.”
Did someone just say: “I’d love to try this vintage on the list”? Watch out. Yes, the year a wine was made is important because it can tell you how long it’s been aging. But calling it a “vintage” just to sound fancy? Major snob move.
Keep it casual, people—it’s just wine.